Hey everybody,
I just finished chapter 6 in our book. It's all about education. Perfect! Remember when I asked all of you why you wanted to graduate even though you think school sucks. I think this chapter best describes this phenomenon. Shahar compares school to drowning or being trapped under water. It's miserable and frantic. Graduation is like finally surfacing and getting a breath of fresh air. There is an "overwhelming sense of relief-which in the moment feels like hapiness." He goes on to say, "This pattern of pain followed by relief is the model that is imprinted upon us from grade school." This is so true, isn't it? No wonder so many people can't find meaning in life. Let's figure out a way to make Service Corps more like Shahar's love-making model than his drowning one. Let me know what you think.
33 comments:
What I enjoyed most from Ch. 6 was Ben-Shahar's discussion of the "underprivelage of privelage." This phenomenon of parents spoiling their children, of giving them too much because they can, is interesting to me. I recently asked my father what I could do to teach my children how to work. His response was simply, "They should never get anything unless they work for it." He continued by explaining that they must associate "getting something" with having "earned it." You might call this a "tough love" or "old school" mentality. The reason it is often called "old school" is because this is how parents used to raise their children. As Seligman notes, "There has been a primary change in American schooling and child-rearing values over 50 years...the change from doing well to feeling good. The dominant theme until the 1960s was achievement, discipline and ambition. This has been overtaken by the value of feeling good, as embodied in the self-esteem movement." I agree with Seligman, and I think this is what Ben-Shahar is getting at. Many are making life to easy for their children, especially those who can afford to give their children everything. It's not just the wealthy though. As a teacher I have had countless encounters with parents who want to ague and fight with me to get their children "off the hook." They don't want their children to deal with the consequences of their actions. Rather than disciplining their children and letting them suffer the consequences of their negative actions, they choose to enable them with protective rationales and excuses that never seem to end. I'm sure they think they are doing them a favor, and showing love for their children. Ben-Shahar and Seligman, I believe, would propose that this type of behavior makes it more difficult for their children to experience happiness. I completely agree. Over protecting our children does little to increase their self-esteem. It just makes them soft. If we want to "feel good", we need to "do well."
I thought that describing life like sex was an interesting way of putting it. The drowning thing didnt really make much sense to me because when your drowning your already dying so it kinda confuses me
Pg83
"Our best chance for happiness is education."
I like this quote because of the other explanation, "Ignorance is bliss." I think both are true. People who pretend nothing is going on and don't deal with the real world are truely blissful due to stupidity. But the people who are educated and completely understand the situation and can STILL be happy, are truely happy people.
I thought that this chapter had some funny stuff in it like associating life with either drowning or having sex. I thougt that this was funny because some people say that sex is the pinicle of life while others say you only see the full purpose of life in the final moment of it. The way I see it he covers both of them in a way. My word was Csikszentmihalyi its a name but its friggin crazy. My quote was present gain future gain which I think is ineresting because that is not always true.
I haven't read the chapter but the things we have talked about in class make sense to me. I have had friends who had all they could ever want basically thrown at them. They never had to do any chores either but they were possibly the most depressed and unhappy kids I have ever known. Many times when we would do work together as a group of friends he would have to have things explained to him multiple times.
Csikszentmihalyi's studies of flowshow that the "no pain no gain"model is based on the myth that only through extreme and sustained overexertion can we attain out optimal level of performal condition for peak performance.
This book is really intersting, problem is im not reading it so im workN on it... peace!!!
"Every youth should be made to feel that his happiness and well-doing in life must necessarily rely mainly on himself and the exercise of his own energies, rather than upon the help and patronage of others."
I believe this means that, you should work for what you want instead of relying on others to give it to you on a silver platter. If you were to get everything without the work, what good would it do for you? I believe it wouldn't be fullfilling in any way. If you work for what you want, it'll make you happier knowing that you earned this on your own, that you are the one who attained the thing that you wanted. There is actually meaning in your accomplishments.
This is Karissa-
*Pg. 96 at the very bottom, "Never let a good crisis go to waste." I like the section this is in. It's so true. Many of our experiences are hard (and painful) but from those experiences we learn a lot more (which, in essence, is our gain) and we're able to take those lessons with us throghout life.
* Pg. 95, last paragraph, "While I do not believe things necessarily happen for the best,
I know that some people are able to make the best of things that happen." - This goes
along with what I said above. I think we're all faced with hard struggles that seriously challange us whether it be emotionaly, physically, spiritually, etc. We all know that going through those situations sucks. It's really hard, but even when we're strugging we're gaining valuable things.
* Pg. 94 at the bottom of Csikszentmihalyi's writing... I love how is mentions science and mathematics as being beautiful. Hidden beauty right there folks!
*Our education is a privilege.. pg. 93... it is indeed. When I think about it, a lot of people in the world don't even get the opportunity to learn or have the means of receiving an education that I've been provided.
* Pg. 90 the bottom of the second paragraph- It shows the emotions of a student who has a privileged background... Although I don't think I've had a privileged background, I do know it could have been a lot worse and I understand the guilt that student feels.
* "Life, for many young people, has quite literally been too easy." - I agree with this statement completely. Even just looking at how different my brother (who is 4 years younger than I am) and I grew up.
* pg. 92, the bottom half of the page- It makes me think about "distorted images" and logical/emotional mind sets.
*** Pg. 91 at the bottom of the paragraph right above the Time-In, "We, regardless of our income and social status, need to give ourselves the permission to be human." - I love that.
I think the section- The Underprivilege of Privilege, says basically that without sadness and sorrow there is no happieness. Parents need to back off some times and let there kids fall and pick themselves up! I really liked the quote on pg. 89 in the 3rd parragraph of The Underprivilege of Privilege; Stuggles and hardships and challenges are a necessary components of an emotionally rich life.
'Unhappiness is also common among the rich because they are under increased pressure to feel happy."
I think that this is true becuase richer people hve so many things that they only appreciat they big things like a car but other can even affored it they appreciat have a bike to ride.
From the very little of this book i have read so far, I do not want to continue reading. The book has the exact same format as the book Blink. The format is that it describes its idea and builds and builds on it. After about 2-3 chapters you just realize that its reapeting itself over and over witch pisses me off. This form of writing is a little stale and bothersome, but as the slow reader and lazy person i am i have only read the first 4 chapters, so ill post another comment in a few days to update my views. I am hoping that the book format changes though so i can read it without wanting to rip it apart. The book is a self help book to the tee, and i dont like self help books at all. This particular book has a few good examples of self help that are interesting to me but some are retarded and lame just like i expected them to be. This book so far is a dissapointment to me.
If you dont know the book Blink its a study of the minds first impression and why the first thing is usaly right. the book builds on it for more than 2/3'ds of the book and then at the end it says some stuff that contradicts all the stuff it talked about so it was a big waste of time and papper it dazzels you with studys and facts but then crapes all over itself so the book was lame and thats why i compared it to happier.
Daniel Goleman says, "Psychologists agree that IQ contributes only about 20% of the factors that determine success. A full 80% comes from other factors, including what I call emotional intelligence."
It seems society tells us that IQ determines success. But according to Goleman, it is "emotional-intelligence" that will determine your success. So we should then, listen to what our emotions tell us. If we are sad, then we need to change what we are doing.
On chapter 6; page 87; first paragraph it says "In flow , present an dfuture benefit merge; a clear future goal is not in opposition but rather contirbutes to the experiernce of the here and now. Flow experiences lead to higher levels of happiness by transforming the formula of "no pain, on gain" to "present gain, future gain." I like this cuz this was how i would get through my problems but now finally reading this book. I feel that where ur performce is at u enjoy it, that u feel like ur running a marathon. that how our task & skill are combined
shawn is da Mof king to let you guys no
The quoet i liked in ch. 6 was "No pain no gain" because usually to gain something you have to go through some kinda 'pain' or lose something to gain something,because nothing is free in life and you have to work for the things you want.
♥
My favorite quote in chapter 6 is, Samuel Smiles, father of the modern self help movement, wrote in 1858 "every youth should be made to feel that his happiness and well doing in life must necessarily rely ainly on himself and the exercise of his own energies rather than upon the help and patronage of others. "When parents help their cildren circumvent hard work it can lead to much unhappiness in the long run. It explains the underprivilege of privilege very good and it made me understand it alot more. shawn tay da mof king
In chapter 6 i liked where it talked about "flow". it says that activities that are flowing or have flow immerse your attention completely and that these activities can be different for each person. it says an experience of flow is were "action and awareness are merged". when it said that you could be doing an activity for hours but feel like only minutes have passed because you have been completely focused on that activity.
In chaptor 6 I liked how it talked about the "Privlage of Hardship" I am a strong believer that anyone can learn from their mistakes. And I especially liked what Anne Harbison said, "Never let a good crisis go to waste" To me that means that when something bad happens don't just see it as something bad that happened. Take the oppertunity to see what you did wrong and learn from it.
On page 94 on 2nd paragraph. It says"Rather than helping studends find meaninful and chanllenging goals and activities, rather than helping students experience the joy of learning, many educators are more concerned with gatting students to score well on exams." i really agree with this quate, and it makes me think of service core. and that even if you doing good in the packets you can still get kicked out. the teachers are more intrested in us getting something out of what were learning and doing in the projects
My favorite part of chapter 6 was when Ben-Shahar talked about flow on page 86. Quote:
"Flow, according to Csikszentmihalyi, is a state in which one is immersed in an experience that is rewarding in and of itself, a state in which we feel we are one with the experience, in which 'action and awareness are merged.'"
During the Time-In, (when do you experience flow?) I thought about a lot of the times I have experienced flow and tried to remember what I had been doing during those times. I realized that while I was experiencing flow, I was doing the things I love to do. Things like running, dancing, singing, watching a really good movie, reading an exciting book, playing certain sports like volleyball, track, soccer, etc. and I realized that those were the times I was most at ease. Those were the times I really was happy.
Another topic I really enjoyed was in the Prejudice Against Work section. On page 94, Ben-Shahar uses a quote from Csikszentmihalyi that suggests:
"Neither parents nor schools are very effective at teaching the young to find pleasure in the right things... Schools generally fail to teach how exciting, how mesmerizingly beautiful science or mathematics can be; they teach routine of literature or history rather than the adventure."
I think this quote is very true. I believe that kids need to learn and know that there can be fun in everything. I think kids need to be able to find the fun in learning at home and in school.
I am only able to be on for like 1 minute at a time. not eough to post whole blog. will post when I am at school though
While I do not believe that things necessarily happen for the best, I know that some people are able to make the best of things that happen. Hardship, which we would never voluntarily invite into our life, can play an important role in our development; a struggle-free life is not always the best thing for us. I liked this exercise, it really makes you think about what you have been through or times you have struggled in your life. It makes you see what you have over-come or accomplished in life and how it made you a better person, or that you are more appreciative of certain things and the lessons you learned. My question is does struggles or hardships make you stressed out when you are going through that period of time in yuor life, and does it make you more appreciative and happier in the end. Anne Harbison once said,"never let a good crisis go to waste."
Csikszentmihaly's studies of flow show that the "no pain, no gain" model is based on the myth that only through extreme and sustained overexertion can we attain our optimal level of performance. He is saying that if you don't have pain at anytime in your life then you will not be strong in the end.
Our best Chance for happyness is education.
I think that not everyone that has an education because i know alot of pople that are happy in life and they do not have an education. so i do not agree with this quote.
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